This one is a special one. Firstly, it marks the birth of my second little bundle of joy, my son (who isn't so little anymore...) Secondly, it proves that madness and melancholia need not be unproductive. And thirdly (and hopefully,) it proves what someone once so wisely said - that the sweetest songs are those that speak of saddest thoughts.



A Mother's Complaint


He watched with darting eyes the leaf-
A tiny green thing, a mere suggestion
Of things yet to come...yet to come-
His curious eyes, prying secrets unborn

He flexed his nimble fingers long:
Twisted knotted, old yet strong
Weathered yet witchy, withered yet warm;
Undid the tiny tangled veins
Bid sap run, tendrils uncurl
Bidding the unwilling leaflet be born...

He chased little rabbits to their homes
Sent fledglings flying on unsure wings
Sent little lost lambs to be found
All older, wiser, and big some more
Their littleness a little less than before...

Their wings stronger
Bounds springier, coats glossier
How they run and whirl! How they dance and twirl!
Little dimpled boy, little doe-eyed girl!

Little bird and bunny and wooly lamb
All dancing to his merry tune
All dancing away from the unweaned world
Of toothless grins and gurgling smiles
And fuzzy skins and faultless wiles...

Oh Time, killer of my tiny joys
How shall I ever forgive what you've done
Gave me a miracle to have and hold
Yet ere I could a moment spend
In loving every hug and kiss
In counting every broken tooth
Or tending every tummy ache
And wiping runny noses dry...
And feel the warmth of tiny hands
That clutch against my heavy heart
That smell of milk and baby soap
And taste of salt from teary eyes...

You took before I even had
A little more than a moment brief
With my little monster wild
My little, unweaned, unruly child
And turned him into someone else
A stranger all so strong and wise
A stranger I don't recognize

And left me beggared at memory's door
With a silly mother's aching heart -
Nor stronger nor wiser than before.


(Posted on FB on December 1, 2014, written perhaps a couple of days earlier)