Coffee

Coffee

Too much coffee is bad for health

Too much sugar is hopeless too

Too much butter on burned toasts

And just one smoke, all thanks to you

Too much talking under moonlit skies

Too many dreams on cloudy days

Too many promises cloaked in lies

But just one truth like a slap on the face

Wake up. Wake up and smell the coffee

Smell the dank stench of despair

Arise and OD on this cup of bitterness

Then shake your head and let down your hair

Truth is a liqueur, acrid black

Drink it hot, like a witches’ brew

Let vileness and caffeine infuse

And your wretched broken heart renew

You bargained hard, you bargained long 

But the deal was never yours to win

Like love sworn true on drunken nights

Lies forgotten in the morrow’s bin

Pinch yourself so hard it hurts

Chafe raw with asking why

You went all out, you put all in

And all you got was a giant lie

So drain your cup to the final dregs

Refill until it froths again

Then up the bottom, then fill once more

And up the bottom, and continue 

Thus, till every taste is wiped away

Bitter is honey, bitter is bread

Bitter yellow mangoes, bitter apples red

Bitter are victories, and memories too

Until you are coffee. And coffee is you. 

Miscalculation

I have nothing to say

I have counted days

No. Minutes. Moments too.

Heartbeats, beads of sweat, pinpricks and shivers running through

I’ve counted them all

Like beads on a grill

Day over day over day

And still

One plus one doesn’t make two

The harder I try

The harder it seems

To justify what happened to you and I

“What happened?”

Nothing, it would seem.

The sun rises in the east

Stars shine, stars die

In blinding skies

You live in your hole

And so do I

Yet some humongous, wondrous change

Creeps like the silent hand of the hour

Changing, changing, changing all

Friend to foe, foe to lover

A Promise to dust, an embrace to a pall

Songs to silence, life to loss

And words that to garbage we must toss

Shreds and wisps

Don’t talk much

So I have nothing more to say

Let’s just pretend our journey’s end

Has come sooner by a day

And instead of songs, sing me a goodbye

So that I... oh wait!

For you’re already out of sight

And I’m out of mind

And what’s left behind

Are clouds of chalk hanging

O’er my empty black board...

(written on Oct 29, 2018)

Nonsense II

There was once a crooked woman
Who had a crooked vice
She peddled all her jewels
For a pinch of magic spice
She added it all to her custard
And served it to her mate
And when her lover ate it all
She took a pickaxe to his pate

Then she sat back to smoke a joint
And blew rings into the air
And weaved the flowers of the spring
Into her greying hair

Time

Time
Is human
Full of fancies
And whims

Mine
Isn’t even a word
That’s mine
If time
Didn’t say so

Why
Is a three letter riddle
That has no answer
Why is why why and not y?
Why?
Today’s what’s why
Tomorrow that’s why
And then goodbye

Good
Is like God
Both likely lies
Both lovely lies
They lie
In our deepest core
And yet would see us sore
And why?
See, there’s no reply

Word
They said there was a word
At the very start
Pretty sure all they heard
Was some gassy ol fart
But millions were watching
That momentous birth of time
So they put time on show
With a crown on his brow

Capital bastard Time
You aren't a friend of Mine
All you do is take
All you show is fake
And when you lie
We cry
Sob, Scream, and Cry
Then eventually give up and die
And what we thought
Was the best thing we had
Turns out to be 
Visceral Fat

Words are waste
Good is dust
Don't ask Why
Just go with the lie
"Liar, Liar, your pant's on fire"
But hey, the joke is on me
Coz those pants are Mine

Bloody Asshole
Time

Nonsense I

I wonder what you're wondering when you think about me
Does my love seem to be
A dead weight you're dragging
Or that's dragging you down
As you drown
In a bottomless sea?

The Art of Knowing

I may not be gold

I certainly don't feel like gold

And perhaps I don't want to be gold

I would like to be something like copper

Or iron

Hard

Unforgiving

Not malleable and needy

Because gold needs to be needed... and that is its undoing

Doesn't make any sense, but i'm sure you understand...

I want to be a rock

I want to be a dumbbell

Dumb yet strong

I don't want that knowledge that led man to fall

And I wish I could give it all away...

But I know

Some things

Some things that others don't

Others can't know

It's damnation

Knowledge

Isn't power

It is weakness

It makes you empathize

With darkness

Because you know

That darkness resides where the brightest light does

In Ellipses

The soul lives in strange dusty spaces

The pauses between thoughts

The hesitation before a song

The realization before the ring and the garland

The regret before a wrong

In such a storeroom of sorrow

On memories’ forgotten shelves

I kept a key once long ago

The key to my unknown self

Perhaps that key is finally lost

And lost my soul with it

Perhaps that key is finally found

And hangs on leather band

With cactus and bells and broken shells

Jingling-jangling in your hands...

The Secrets of the Sea

The sea holds secrets
In its bosom deep
Secrets about you that you screamed beneath the skies
Secrets about me that I sealed with a hundred lies
Secrets about us that neither of us know


The sea holds darkness
The blood red ink of love
and the purple ink of my rage
and the green and gold tears I cried
on every single page
They mixed and made the blackness
That holds shards of glass
That in the cover of the night
Masquerade as stars...

Rest In Peace

After all the miles are run
Over gentle stones and humble mountains
Over raging rivulets, thundering storms
Mighty chasms from whence darkness looks into our souls
Infected, hurt, half-healed and half-given-up...
All the miles are run
All the pain has now become
A proof-less, hazy memory

After all the words are said
Tender remonstrations of love
A thousand "I love you"s a day, none meant
A thousand more "I wish you'd understand"s, none said
A million "I'm sorry"s all in cocktails of rum and tears drunk
A million more "Why?"s, none answered
And many many "That's why..."s piled on sky high, sky high...
Grudges, piled on grudges, all swept under a threadbare carpet...
After all the words have been said
My words have now become
Masks to wear to a farce -
Horseplay and gaudy sentimentality

Somewhere I erred
Somewhere right at the start
I spoke but did not hear
I heard but did not see
I saw but did not notice
What we had set out to be
'Us' was a bond forged with love
My love for you and yours for me
But in my hurry to love
I left no pause for being me, becoming me.

Being was good, until I became
Un-me, unlike what I had promised I would be
Living in violation of rules and regulations
Commissions and stipulations
Riddled with misgivings and speculations
Misunderstandings borne of miscommunications
All spurious issues of an epileptic imagination
...Words
They're trash today, see how they confuse and obfuscate
I pimp them shamelessly
Invalidate their validity

It all comes down to what has been said
And unsaid
Meant and un-meant
Proved and disproved
My words are the devil's advocates today
Erasing and rewriting lines
Between good and gone-bad
See what's become of my pride, my power
Words become whores to fakery
Honesty laid to rest in peace
Garrotted with infidelity

Peace, gentle mind, go in peace
Madness has its own reality.

Disinfected

"Breathe."
"Breathe?"
"What? How?"

The air around me grows
pregnant with summer's sighs.
No smells, no sounds, no memories
of the life gone by
I sit in a clinic awash with stern bright light
Antiseptic emotions in my IV line
My heart beats with a regularity that puts monotony to shame
My legs are numb, my hands are lame.
My 'higher' faculties in coma lie
I converse with vegetables
About the meaning of life.
I am
Disinfected.

Come infect me
Be the poison I long to taste
Pollute my air and lay me to waste
Bid my thoughts run wild and free
Bid my passions make a fool of me
A fool who lived
but for a little while

A little significant while.